A practical summary of who you're looking to help, what I should listen out for and the people I can start thinking about introducing you to.
The more we talked, the clearer it became that people may not arrive knowing what the underlying problem is. They notice the outcome instead. Food, overworking, drinking, stress, relationship problems, exhaustion or simply feeling that they should be able to sort themselves out, but can't.
They don't necessarily need to describe themselves as needing therapy. In fact, they may simply know that something in life feels out of sync, despite being capable, intelligent and used to handling things themselves.
That sounded like the clearest sweet spot, although your clients can absolutely be younger. Typically they're intelligent, hardworking and reasonably high earning, which can make it even more frustrating when there is one part of life they can't seem to get under control.
Overeating is a big area of experience for you, but it isn't about nutrition. The same underlying pattern can show up as overdrinking, overworking or another behaviour that gives short-term relief but doesn't match how they actually want to live.
They may have read the books, followed plans, gathered information and tried different approaches. The frustration is that they understand a lot intellectually, but the same behaviour or emotional response keeps returning.
The presenting issue could be bereavement, a difficult relationship, work, stress or simply feeling stuck. They may not know the cause. They just know life isn't feeling as good, settled or aligned as they believe it could.
One phrase from our conversation really stood out: you teach people how to become their own best therapist.
The behaviour they want to change can be driven by patterns that were learned much earlier in life. Someone raised around criticism, for example, may have learned to relate to themselves through criticism without even realising it.
Your work isn't about forcing people into heavy retrospective work. It's about recognising the part that's trying to help, understanding why it behaves as it does, renegotiating what happens next and helping the person move forward with more compassion, choice and freedom.
Your worksheet sharpened this up for me. The best introductions are not only individual clients. They are trusted professionals and organisations already speaking to people dealing with stress, separation, behavioural patterns or major life changes.
Particularly people working in divorce and separation. They may be supporting clients who are overwhelmed by a major life transition and would value a trusted person to refer them to for additional psychological support.
HR consultants and occupational health providers may encounter people struggling with stress, overworking or difficult life circumstances. There may also be scope for workshops, wellbeing sessions and longer-term corporate relationships.
GPs, physiotherapists, dietitians, nutritionists, menopause clinics, coaches and beauty or aesthetic professionals can all meet women who know what they want to change but find that information and willpower alone are not enough.
Your IFS training and experience around addiction, food and behavioural patterns could complement organisations already helping people with weight loss or addiction, including group work and one-to-one support as part of their wider offer.
I don't need to wait for somebody to say, “I need a psychotherapist.” These are the sorts of things I can listen out for instead.
The example you gave made this much easier to understand. A behaviour that looks unhelpful from the outside may actually be a part of somebody trying to protect them or meet a need in the only way it knows how.
Your job is not simply to tell that person to stop. You help them understand what that part is trying to achieve, relate to it differently and find a better way to meet the underlying need.
That's why the outcome is bigger than changing one behaviour. It's about helping somebody become more compassionate towards themselves and better equipped to navigate what comes next.
We've already spoken separately about the business and digital side, so I've deliberately kept that out of this follow-up. What I wanted from our one-to-one was a clearer picture of who I can introduce to you and what I should listen for in everyday conversations.
Your worksheet makes that even clearer. A direct introduction to somebody who needs support is useful, but the bigger opportunities could come from relationships with family lawyers, HR consultants, occupational health providers, health professionals and organisations working around addiction, weight and wellbeing.
You also mentioned talks, seminars and workshops. I'll keep those in mind when I meet businesses, charities or groups that could benefit from hearing from you, not just when I meet an individual who may need one-to-one support.
And separately, the invitation still stands to have a look inside my digital skills community whenever you fancy it. No pressure. It may simply give you a few useful ideas as you develop the digital side of what you're doing.
Take a look inside the communityFor this page though, the important bit is simple: I now know much more clearly who I'm looking for on your behalf.
Not just somebody asking for a therapist. I'm listening for the capable person who feels stuck, the woman who knows what she wants to change but can't seem to do it, and the professionals who regularly meet people at exactly those moments. When those conversations happen, I'll know that Tess is someone worth introducing.
